So it’s been a while. I’d offer an explanation, but it’s not going to ring true so why bother. Instead, let’s focus on what I want to right about. Mess up there, or maybe I’m just giving you a clue to my subject today? So, moving on to my topic; this is once again from another blog, one that I should know better than to read, but I was sucked in again. The title is “It’s Legal to Kill Babies, But Let’s Worry about a Gay Person’s Right to Cake”. And yes, the scan I did of this is just as filled with hate as the title suggests. There are 2 distinct topics in this blog, both of which I want to address.
First, the blog talks about the recent case in Colorado, in which a woman was attacked for her unborn daughter, and the baby died after being cut from the womb. Let me break here to extend my condolences to the family during this dark time. Truly, no one deserves this level of pain. And I share the outrage that the woman who attacked her is not being charged with murder of the baby–only attempted murder of the mother. Where we differ is the topic of abortion. In the blog, this act was likened to abortion…and that is only true on the most basic level.
Let’s be clear from the beginning: abortion is a medical term for a pregnancy that ends either naturally or with help. Yep, the actual medical term for a miscarriage is “abortion.” Next, understand that just because I advocate women having the choice of what to do with their bodies, don’t think that I agree this is the best course in all cases. I’ve known for a while that there is a very limited window in which I would choose an abortion (more later); in fact, in the times that I was worried about pregnancy before J and I married, my plan was always adoption. That’s what both of us have decided that we’d recommend for both K and S if they end up in a situation of teen pregnancy…but from my talk on sex previously, y’all know where I stand there.
The one place in which I would choose to abort is medical. If I were pregnant, and the test determined that I had more chance of dying than carrying to term, and/or the baby would not survive to term, yes, I would end the pregnancy. Before you get up in arms about how I’m killing a child in that case, what about my right to live? Are you saying that my death is worth less than that of a fetus that has limited chance of survival? And that it’s better to carry a child that would kill me, leaving my husband alone to raise our children? I don’t think that it is, and I don’t believe that’s the best choice for my family. Or what about this case from Ireland? Does her husband deserve to be mourning not only the loss of pregnancy, but also the death of his wife? All my pro-life friends, I want you to ask yourself what you would do in this situation; knowing that your baby is not surviving, but not being able to have the finality of an ending without death from sepsis?
Final point on this: making abortion illegal will not stop it from happening. Let me repeat that: MAKING ABORTION ILLEGAL WILL NOT STOP IT FROM HAPPENING. Throw all the stats at me you want; I’ll bet dollars to donuts that the rate of abortions in countries that have outlawed it has not decreased, it’s just moved to back alleys. If a woman wants to get an abortion, she’s going to get it (remember the scene in Dirty Dancing?) regardless of legality. Would you rather that possibly cause twice the deaths (mother and child) due to the lack of regulations or be medically regulated and sterile? I’m not saying you have to agree with them or like them, but stop being naïve enough to think you can stop them from happening.
The second part of the blog is the issue of Indiana’s new Religious Freedom Restoration Act. Ok, sorry, call a spade a spade; this should be named “I want to help people and businesses discriminate.” This is no different from the Jim Crow Laws, or the No Irish Need Apply policies…the policies that most citizens of our country agree were terrible. And yet this one, a law that is designed to allow for the discrimination against the LGBT community is being heralded by some on the religious right as wonderful and just.
Make no mistake, this law is not just about cakes and flowers. The fact that this law is on the books will allow other professions to refuse service…such as doctors, lawyers, clinic offices. Grocery stores could stop selling food to people, pharmacies could refuse to fill prescriptions. And not just for the LGBT community, though they are the primary target. Imagine you go into a Jewish deli for a sandwich on your lunch break, but because you’re Muslim/Christian/Hindi the proprietor refuses you service? And you can’t get upset about it because you’re in favor of the law that they are using as a defense.
I believe that business should have the right to refuse service, and many do so without a media circus. That’s one place that I’ll ding the LGBT community on–you don’t have the right to get everything you want everywhere. Guess what: bakeries decline to make cakes/cupcakes for people all the time! Maybe they’re full of orders for the day, maybe they can’t accommodate the scale, maybe the baker just doesn’t like the vision that the customer has. And sometimes the person makes a snap judgment about a “punk kid” and says no because he doesn’t like the kid’s look or life choices. That’s not a bad thing, that’s a choice on the baker’s part. And usually the power of the review hurts them massively in that case. Do you honestly think that a bride doesn’t read the Yelp reviews of bakeries before she narrows down her top picks to interview? And I’ll bet that for every 1 bride that likes the bakery that discriminates there are 10 others that will avoid them at all cost.
To summarize, then, there are a few problems in Indiana with this law and the situation it brought up. One, I don’t think that there should be regulation telling people it’s ok to discriminate…though I’ll admit that I liked the idea presented in Oklahoma, which stated that businesses who wished to refuse service must place a visible notice advising the public who would not get service and why they will not get it. Two, there seems to be a general outcry of rights being violated on the customer part, but not really a support for the business owners that quietly refuse service. Three, there’s a general lack of understanding at the dangerous precedent this sets for all industries.
So here’s my naïve soap-box moment. Seriously, people, just get along. If you’re against gay marriage, don’t get one; if you’re against artificially aided abortion, don’t get one. If you are in favor of those things (and they apply!), get them. But stop preaching about it. Seriously, you will not convert the other team to your side, and you might lose some friends if you keep telling them things they don’t care to hear about. Same thing with vaccines, diets, religion, politics…if you aren’t asked, don’t talk about it! And yes, I’m aware I wasn’t asked here, but it’s my soapbox so I can talk about it. Remember, in the words of Vash the Stampede, “This world is full of LOVE AND PEACE!”